Diary Of Me
by Just Mystical
Summary: Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone... When understanding finally comes, it's already too late. A somewhat CloTi. R&R. Oneshot.


**Diary of Me**

The silhouette of Tifa Lockheart could be spotted from across the street as she passed her window, a thick journal grasped close to her chest as she lay atop her bed. Opening her diary to the previous entry, her soft brown orbs scanned through her writing, recalling the events that had occurred a few days ago. Heaving a sigh, she turned to a fresh page, picking up her pen to commence writing about her struggles today.

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_May 3rd_

_Diary,_

_After what appeared to be an eternity, I finally met her for the very first time today. Cloud had taken me to a nice restaurant to celebrate my birthday, and I hadn't expected him to bring _her. _Sure,__I had heard all there was to hear about her since Cloud practically talked about her every day, but I was quite surprised at how far off my depiction of her was. She was very different to the woman I had imagined her to be, and I almost regret all the jealousy I held for her._

_I remember shaking her hand, and I recall smiling back at her as she gave me a soft hug in greeting, wishing me a happy birthday. She had pretty emerald green eyes, and wonderful curly hair, with an aura of kindness that surrounded her. It was at that moment that I knew I couldn't hate her. There was so much adoration in Cloud's eyes. I wonder if he'll ever look at me like that…_

_So I finally took Professor Gast's scholarship offer. It was one of life's hardest decisions to make, simply because a part of me didn't want to leave. But now that I did give Gast my verdict, there is no turning back. I still haven't told Cloud yet… I don't think I'll have the courage to look him in the eyes, and tell him that I would be leaving. I just hope that he's happy._

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Unable to bring herself to finish the remainder of her entry, Tifa closed her journal, a soft knocking echoing from her window. Tucking her diary under her pillow, she got to her feet, sauntering over. Lifting the curtains, bright blonde hair came into view, as his sapphire blue eyes made contact with hers. Immediately opening the window, Tifa offered a helping hand to her friend, pulling him into her room.

"What in the world are you doing Cloud?" She hissed at him as he climbed over her window sill.

"I needed to talk," He whispered as he seated himself onto her bed.

Settling onto her computer table chair, Tifa couldn't help but feel a little happy that he had went through all the trouble to speak to her. She could see the excitement on his face, as she waited for him to talk.

"It's Aeris," he began. "She might be moving here in Neibelheim with her mother." He stated.

The sentence hit her hard. As the words started to sink in, Tifa didn't know how to react. Blinking, she could only strain a smile at him as he grabbed her hand in his warm one. She wanted to pull away, she knew she should move away from him, but her body wouldn't react as she felt him give her hand a squeeze.

"This means you and Aeris can get along," he whispered.

_I don't think I'll be here long enough for her to arrive._ Tifa wanted to say, but nodded her head at his comment. She observed as he lay on her bed, his hands placed behind his head as he moved his feet like a child, eyes focused onto the ceiling.

"Cloud, will you miss me?" Tifa queried, only just realising her slip up.

His blue eyes burned into her brown orbs in question. There was a confused expression etched onto his young features as he comprehended her words.

"I-I mean," Tifa corrected, her mind racing with something she could say. "What I meant to say was, would you miss me like how you miss Aeris if you couldn't see me everyday?"

She lingered for his answer, her eyes never leaving his relaxed figure as she saw him give a curt nod in reply. Unable to suppress a grin, Tifa beamed at his answer, no longer feeling sad.

"I'll miss you too Cloud…" she breathed, her eyes shifting elsewhere. There was a peaceful silence for a while as she averted her eyes back to him to discover he had fallen asleep.

Leaning forward, her hand brushed gently across his smooth cheek.

"Thanks," she said gently, and placed her warm lips onto his soft cheek.

Standing, she placed a blanket over him, and exited her room soundlessly.

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Cloud Strife woke up at the feel of something poking his head. Bright sunlight greeted him as he reached under the pillow to find a thick book. Intrigued by the discovery, he opened it to the centre, instantly realising what it was. As his eyes scanned across his name, he had forced himself to close the diary. Now sitting up in silence, curiosity was eating at him as he stared at the closed journal which appeared to be tempting him to read. Rubbing a hand over his eyes, he used his free hand to flip to a random page. On the corner, the date read: _May 3rd_. Allowing his gaze to take in Tifa's neat writing, it was then that the truth had finally dawned on him as his eyes reached the end of the log.

Throwing the covers off his body, he practically leaped out of Tifa's bed, making a run for the door. Rushing down the flight of stairs, he exited the already opened front entrance of the Lockheart household, spotting Tifa's parents standing on the sidewalk, waving. Pausing momentarily, Cloud watched as a grey truck drove away, the back profile of Tifa visible through the tinted window.

Breaking into a run, he followed after the speeding truck, sprinting as fast as his legs would take him as the truck made a left turn and disappeared, moving further away from town.

"Tifa!" He yelled, but the truck didn't come to a halt.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to catch up, the blonde sustained to run, incapable of giving up. He darted past the many townspeople that could only gape at him as he reached the turn where the truck had gone. Taking a left, he could no longer see the vehicle as he collapsed, no longer able to keep up.

Falling to his hands and knees, his chest heaved as he panted for breath. Reality was beginning to course through him as Tifa's diary lay on the floor under his right hand. He had taken her journal with him, had run with it, but in the end, he couldn't get her to stay. As he got to his feet, starting to journey home, his hands shakily opened to the very first entry to the book.

Reaching home, he spent the remainder of the morning reading Tifa's words, his thoughts becoming clear at her worth to him. Although he may never see her again, he did however know that he'd be waiting, no matter how long it would take for her to return.

Sometimes, you don't know what you have until it's gone…

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**A/N: **After reading many oneshots in the FF7 realm, I was inspired to finally have a go at one myself. The idea just suddenly popped up into my mind, and viola, here you have it! Although this oneshot was a little short, but I was aiming for a sense of loss, and regret... After all, not all stories end happily ever after and neither does life. So here you have it, a slight CloTi, but not CloTi enough. I just hope that Tifa and Cloud weren't overly too out of character in here. I do hope you enjoyed, and reviews are much appreciated. :D Thanks for reading! 

JM


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